Ice
by Transitory07
Summary: Zero never let Yuki get close to his impenetrable heart but one night he let his guard down. *one-shot redone*


*Declaimer: Vampire Knight doesn't belong to me.

Her palms began to sweat against the cruel metal of the gun.

"Do it before I snap!" Below her, her beloved friend insisted.

Yuki snatched her hands free from his stubborn hold, launching the gun across the room where it hit the wooden floor with a loud clang. With one hand she slapped him clear across his face.

"Stop trying to yield me!" Yuki shrieked, "I won't ever kill you so don't hold your breath!"

Letting her emotions out so frantically caused her breathing to hitch, the blood to pound in her chest so hard that she could actually feel it shaking her frame.

Zero Kiriyu scowled at the girl to whom he entrusted his fate.

"What if I sink to level E?" He spat, "It will be too late to save your life-"

"Then I'll let you have me," was the unconditional, but otherwise, stupid reply.

Zero's violet eyes bugged out for a moment. Yuki's expression was still vehement. Yet, it gradually smoothed out and she stepped slowly away from the bed.

For awhile the only sound in the dark room was the hitch of their unstable breathing. Yuki couldn't bear the horrified look in Zero's eyes for much longer. She turned to encounter the rapidly descending rainfall through the window's cold glass.

"That's disgusting."

Having become disoriented, she turned to the sound of Zero's voice. It sounded a lot calmer. He was sitting up now.

His repulsion was directed on her rather than himself.

"What is?" Her own voice still trickled with irritation.

"What you're offering to do, it's disgusting," he said this indifferently, "The way you're always following me around, so eagerly jumping at the chance to give me your neck…It makes me want to vomit."

Yuki frowned. Traces of her anger was fading as his words punctured a sore in her chest. It hurt.

"I'm only trying to keep you from becoming the very thing you hate most-"

Zero slid off the bed.

Yuki did not shrink away as he approached. Not her. When everyone else was frightened by her friend's constant mood swings, she had been fighting his rage for a long time now.

There was still a scowl on Zero's face but it wasn't due to anything directed at Yuki. In truth, he was concentrating. That way he could maintain his emotions in check. That way he wouldn't scare her again. He hesitated, shocked by the utter composure in her amber eyes as she fearlessly stared back.

"_Damn, this is why I want you!" _He grumbled mentally, _"Only Yuki can stand in front of me without flinching. This is why I know I can trust you."_

Yuki felt Zero's hands caress either side of her face and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief at how he seemed to be relaxing.

Though, his eyes were still intense, his touch was light as a feather.

"I _won't _become that," he emphasized the words, "Either I learn to control myself or I die, but I won't do that to you."

Yuki's eyes welled up with tears.

"But I'm trying to satisfy your thirst so that it doesn't burn your throat…so that you won't ever lose everything that makes you Zero."

Zero touched her quivering bottom lip with his fingertip.

"Oh, Yuki…"

He was about to tell her the whole truth. Why he'd rather die than become a crazed, famished, inhuman creature. Why he despised himself for coming closer every day to draining Yuki's life form completely. _"I love you too much to do that to you." _He didn't tell her.

As always, Zero's words kept Yuki tossing in her bed during the wee hours of the morning, which was the little bit of time she ought to be saving for sleep. It saddened her greatly that no matter how much she tried to do, it never seemed to be enough to save him from the darkness. Perhaps that vampire hunter Yagari had been right when he'd said so himself.

There was nothing a good girl like her could do to yank her friend free from his inner torture.

"Yuki-chan! Yuki-chan! You're going to be late!" Yori was shaking her roommate's shoulder unsuccessfully.

The girl didn't so much as stir. Her head lay over one small hand and Yori was positive that that position would leave it numb.

"Sensei has already made you stay late twice already," Yori sighed, "Why doesn't the Chairman simply transfer her to the Night Class?"

With a last sympathetic glance at Yuki, Yori pulled on her jacket and headed out of the room before _she _was late.

She was relieved to run into the Chairman on her way down the corridor.

"Ah, Chairman!" Yori sighed, "I tried to wake Yuki up but I'm afraid she's too exhausted."

The chairman nodded.

"I'll let her be excused for the day. Don't worry, Yori-chan. Go on to your class."

Unlike her friend, Yori couldn't afford to be late.

Chairman (or Headmaster, as he was also called), Kaein Cross cracked open the door. He poked his head inside and scanned the sunlit room.

"My darling daughter is exhausted?" he murmured to himself upon stepping inside.

His eyes melted as he caught sight of the girl deeply asleep in the corner. A shade of sunlight brightened a path of her pillow but her head was turned the other way. She looked like stone. Unshakable.

"No wonder Yori couldn't wake you," Chairman Cross sipped at his coffee. At that moment he felt a sharp stab of guilt for putting her up to the late night job. She was only a teenager, after all. She needed enough sleep to grow. However, trying to convince Yuki of that would lead to nothing. Of that he was most sure.

"Still…" Chairman Cross sat on the edge of the bed where she lay, "Why do you push yourself so forcefully, Yuki?" He wondered aloud.

Yuki stirred.

"Oh? My Yuki is awake finally!"

By the way he had a tendency of letting himself get too carried away at times, the chairman should have anticipated that the sudden bounce he made on the bed would startle his 'darling daughter'.

"Gah!" Yuki yelped so loud she startled _him_ right off the bed.

On the floor where he'd hit his shoulder against the hard wood the chairman moaned.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Yuki-chan. But I thought you'd never wake up! For a moment, I thought you passed out."

Yuki scratched her head.

"Oh, don't worry about it," she mumbled. Her voice dragged.

"Whenever I have nightmares I sleep more heavily," she added to herself in a murmur.

"A nightmare?" He gaped through his circular spectacles, "Oh, tell _otou-san! _I'll make it better."

Flustered that he'd overhead, Yuki shook her head.

"No, it's fine now. I don't even remember it all. Besides," she peered at the spilt coffee and broken mug on the floor, "I need to get to class since I'm already late."

Chairman Cross began waving his hands in front of him as if to impede something from advancing.

"Don't worry about that, I've excused you for the day," he told Yuki excitedly.

Yuki sighed.

"Okay."

In her mind she thought, _"This way I'll never graduate high school."_

Some days you want to live, some days you don't. This was one of those cursed days for the solitary heir of the Kiriyu family. He didn't care about living today.

Lily nickered and tossed back the core of the apple Zero had brought for her. He watched it roll to his feet. A shadow appeared not far from it.

"Perhaps I should leave," He muttered to the shadow without glancing up.

"Eh? Why do you say that?"

Zero's brow furrowed as he glared at the straw on the ground.

"The only reason why I've stayed so long is so that the day will come when I will pay those vampires back for annihilating my family. You know that well. But it gets unbearable every day…" His voice choked on the word 'unbearable' as the memory of Yuki's frightened gasp returned to him.

The shadow remained immobile.

"Those aren't the same vampires who murdered your parents and twin brother. The Night Class is different-"

"Doesn't matter," Zero growled in a quite tone. His violet eyes pierced through the straw. They resembled blades.

"Are you sure that your desire for revenge is the only reason why you stay at Cross Academy?"

Zero raised his sharp eyes.

"What are you saying?"

The reply came in an irritatingly nonchalant manner that only sizzled his resentment.

"Perhaps, I thought, Yuki may be the other reason."

Zero's pale face clouded over.

_He pushed her against the wall. Wrapping his fingers around her wrists, he would pin her hands, though it was unnecessary. Yuki never resisted. Her gasps as he bit into her skin would excite him in a way. Other times he wouldn't even notice. Too far gone was he in the luscious liquid seething from her neck to come back up._

Now as the sound of those weak gasps haunted him.

The stable was silent. Lily had fallen asleep.

"No," Zero snapped, pulling himself swiftly to his feet, "Yuki is the reason why I should leave."

"You know that too," he said coldly as he passed the figure in the doorway, "Chairman."

After a long, steamy shower during which Yuki let the muscles in her spine and neck finally relax, she made her way to the balcony on the second story facing the courtyard. Tendrils of her short hair dripped cold drops on her shoulders. She pressed her palms on the marble, leaning over the balcony, glancing around the trees in hopes of catching any sign of her coworker.

"_I wonder if he's mad at me?" _she said quietly to herself. Most definitely, he must be. Yuki sighed.

But what did he expect her to do? Let him slip away into darkness for all eternity? And why did he not kill himself if the fear of losing his humanity was stronger than his trust in her? A feeling of total desolation suddenly overcame Yuki. All of a sudden, she wanted nothing more at that moment than to talk to someone about this situation. But the only person who would fully understand what was going on was the chairman. And….she knew that he wouldn't be much help. He would probably think that Zero was actually Yagari's responsibility. Yuki felt a stab of guilt as she thought of Yori.

Yori was her best friend but there was definitely no way she could reveal her concerns about Zero to her. Kaname-senpai…

She frowned.

According to Kaname, she'd stopped telling him things long ago. Besides, if she told Kaname about allowing Zero to drink her blood, he would probably not take that sitting down. And it frightened her what might happen to Zero.

"_These thoughts are so troublesome…Should I leave him alone or stubbornly brave his anger?" _

Deep in the profound levels of her soul she knew that leaving Zero alone was truly impossible. She was his antidote. For that reason, no matter if _he _ran away, she would follow him anywhere.

For the rest of the day she didn't know what to do so Yuki decided to keep the chairman company. That left the chairman euphoric, of course. She helped him make lunch in his spacious kitchen, then let him tutor her on her lessons. By the end of the morning Yuki had gotten enough done to keep her professors happy. At least, until the next bundle of homework was assigned.

"Perhaps I've been concentrating too much on my job as a guardian," Yuki murmured absentmindedly as she struggled with her lesson on the sofa next to the chairman.

"Hmmm, but you're so passionate about it."

Yuki, glancing up at him, burst into giggles.

"Maybe you excuse my lateness because you don't want me to graduate. You want me to stay with you forever."

Surprise flashed across the chairman's face. He joined Yuki's laughter but only half-heartedly. Indeed, he wished nothing more but to keep his darling princess safe for always. But a lot could change in four years.

When sunset finally came Yuki began to dress for her rounds. She felt that she'd slept enough to satisfy her body for three days.

"There's no need for you here," Zero declared as she walked into the courtyard, "I can handle them."

"What do you mean there's no need for me here? I have to do my job," she objected, falling into step beside him. No one paid attention to their little brawl. The iron gates opened. The Night students passed under the stone arch with synchronized grace. And Yuki tried to maintain a 'professional' look in her eyes. It lasted until Aido-senpai approached. Then his obnoxious personality caused her composure to waver as it had a tendency of doing often.

"You look tired, Yuki-chan," the fair-haired student commented, grazing his hand carelessly against her cheek. Yuki felt Zero stiffen beside her.

"Not really," she answered coolly.

Aido actually smirked.

Yuki didn't know what it was about that guy that seemed to give her an uneasy feeling. As though, his attitude towards her was a bit suspicious.

Nevertheless, Yuki's eyes snapped back into focus as the last of the Night Class exited the dorms.

Kaname-senpai paused, turned to her and Zero, and nodded. She did not glance up to see what Zero's reaction was. She only gave one stiff nod in return. As Kaname walked away she breathed out a low sigh, unaware that Zero's eyes were fixated on her.

"Well, I guess you were right," Yuki said after the Day Class had dispersed, "My presence really wasn't necessary. The girls weren't so rowdy today. But how was I to know that?"

Zero seemed to be staring at her face intently without really seeing it.

"_The time has come to tell you everything. I want you… to wish me away."_

He found her propped up on the marble around the fountain in the garden. Her amber eyes were staring up at the navy blue sky with that spaced out glaze over them that was a prominent characteristic of Cross Yuki. A chilly gust of wind blew past her and Yuki folded her arms over her chest. The sound of the water gushing out from the marble swan's beak was soothing to her ears.

Zero's shadow startled her.

"Oh! I'll go circle the other side of the buildings…" Yuki leapt to her feet.

"Yuki, wait," Zero clasped his long fingers around her wrist, "I want to talk to you for a minute."

"Sure, Zero," Yuki responded slowly. His face appeared to be serene and his eyes gentle but she could never tell if it was sadness that actually set off that peaceful disguise.

Instinctively, she took a step closer to him and pulled her hair back, exposing her neck.

"You don't have to be ashamed, Zero," she whispered.

"Would you stop?!"

Much to her surprise, Zero growled, his eyes flashing a steely silver shade. He wrapped his hands around her shoulders so tightly it hurt.

"Stop!" Yuki protested as he pushed her into the shadows of the woods, away from the fountain. Her back came into contact with the rough bark of one of the trees.

The grip loosened around her arms. Zero's hands slid slowly down to her wrists. Her eyes were wide as she continued staring in shock at his tense expression. Zero raised her hands up above her head, pinning them against the tree.

"What are you doing?" Yuki demanded furiously.

"I'm not going to bite you," Zero snapped, his voice still bubbling with fury. Exhausted, Yuki closed her eyes and waited for his breathing to slow. Zero struggled to compose himself but he tried to do it quickly because he feared that she would disappear before he had a chance to explain. Standing there so close to her small body, he could feel the heat coming off it against the chill of the night. When the silence had prolonged for a while, Yuki's eyes slowly slit open.

Zero's forehead was leaning against hers. The breeze blew his silvery bangs in her eyes. She wanted to push them back. To see if he was okay. No matter what, her love for him was irrevocable. It didn't matter if what he was doing was wrong. She found that she didn't even care what the chairman or Yagari thought. This wasn't about anyone but Zero and herself. Because they could brave anything.

Zero let out a strangled breath.

"Why can't you see that I don't want to hurt you?" he whispered.

Yuki blinked.

His voice sounded tired all of a sudden.

But before she could answer he placed his lips on hers.

They were cold. Their temperature left shivers over her form. Yuki had anticipated such an iciness to Kaname's lips if he ever kissed her. A tear rolled down her cheek as she remembered that childish fantasy.

Zero's heart never felt more alive than at that instant.

"Right now, I don't feel like a vampire," he murmured against her lips.

Yuki stared into his eyes. Zero met her gaze steadily. The silver sheen was gone and now the irises were their normal pretty violet hue.

"Why?" Yuki asked, though it wasn't necessarily directed towards his last words.

Zero smiled shortly and let her hands fall free.

He gently tucked a strand of her hair back into place. Then he leaned close to her ear and whispered seductively, "You're shivering. Is that what it feels like to be kissed by a vampire?"

Yuki shuddered against another wave of shivers.

Zero chuckled.

"Why?" Yuki asked again.

"Shhh…" Zero raised his head to kiss her forehead, "You're safe, I promise."

Yuki felt his icy lips once more on her skin. They skimmed down the side of her face. He gave her a peck on the cheek before moving on to her mouth. Yuki raised her hand to his back the way she would do to comfort him whenever his lips were at her throat. To not make him feel bad. However, this time it was different. Her gesture was unsure. When he kissed her more deeply her fingers dug into his shirt. Although, she tugged on it, Yuki didn't know if she was really begging him to stop.

Of all the things they'd done wrong, this felt the most shameful.

Zero's breathing picked up again.

"_Someone might see us," _one part of his brain warned. But time would run out too quickly if he pulled away right then.

Yuki slid her fingers into his hair. He felt that he was losing it… Suddenly, a rash desire to whisk Yuki away to a safer place enveloped his resolve.

The feel of Zero's hands suddenly fold around her waist made Yuki flinch.

Zero stepped back, dropping his hands.

"What's wrong?" he questioned, concerned.

Yuki did not know how to answer. That touch felt too intimate. But she didn't want to hurt his feelings either.

"This isn't right…" she whispered shortly.

Zero's eyes were confused.

"This _feels_ right, Yuki. Can't you see? I'm not hurting you."

Taking one step closer, Zero cupped his hand around her cheek.

"On the contrary, I'm making you happy," he said in a voice that sounded a little amazed.

"But, Zero," Yuki grabbed his hand, holding it to her face so as not to upset him, "Why would you do that? You always resented me for favoring the Night Class…"

By the way Zero's eyes narrowed into steely slits, Yuki realized that she'd let something slip that should've stayed buried deep in her heart.

"So of all the unforgivable things I've done kissing you is the worst?" Zero maintained his voice steady despite all discomfort, "Tell me why that is."

Yuki shook her head quickly.

"That's not what I was referring to. I swear I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. That kiss felt.." she hesitated with the rest. And he saw that.

Zero nodded with trepidation.

"Why would I think you'd understand?" he wondered aloud, "But I'm curious how I can be a monster in your eyes and he can't."

"He?" Yuki repeated dumbly. The last thing she wanted was for Zero to relate this conversation to Kaname. Yet, it was only to be expected. He knew how much she longed for Kuran Kaname.

Zero's face remained cold.

"We are the same, aren't we? Both of us drink human blood. We both have saved you one time or another. Yet, you trust him in a way that you'll never trust me."

Yuki shook her head again.

"This has nothing to do with Kaname-sama being a pureblood. You know I don't believe that you'll ever turn into a Level E!" her voice escalated towards the end.

Zero dropped his hand from her cheek.

"You only stayed still while I kissed you because you didn't want to hurt my feelings. I dare you to deny it!"

Yuki's cheeks flared with a heat that had run cold.

"Why did you do it? You still haven't answered."

Once again, that tired expression erased the fury in Zero's features. He sighed. This was too much humiliation for anyone to bear.

"Why do you think?" he muttered sullenly, immediately turning his back to her and walking away.

It hurt to see him so pained.

Yuki raised her hand, words climbing up her throat, a plea forming.

She wanted to run after him. To catch up to him and grab his hand.

But she knew that this time there was only so much that could be done.

During the week Yori noticed that Yuki seemed quieter than usual. When she asked if something was wrong Yuki just shook her head so she dropped the subject immediately. Yuki's face was as pale as a sheet. But she was learning her lessons rather well.

"Yuki, you've barely touched your dumplings!"

Yuki barely glanced up from her plaid skirt.

"Oh," she mumbled, "I guess I'm still full from lunch."

But the chairman acted as though he hadn't heard.

"You can't live off tea," he said, scooping up a spoonful of plump dumplings and dumping it all on her plate where a small mountain was forming.

Across the table Zero glanced out the window.

"It's already dark out. I'm going to run patrol." Swiftly, he pushed his chair back and jolted up.

"It's time for me to go," Yuki commented quietly, setting down her unused fork.

"But, Yuki, there are no classes tonight so only Zero is needed and only for a few hours," protested Chairman Cross, desperate to get her to eat more.

Yuki shook her head.

"Zero, please wait for me!" As she reached the door, however, Zero blocked her passage.

Yuki stared in confusion.

"No, you should sleep," was all he said before turning around so fast she didn't even catch a glimpse of his long silvery hair before he was gone.

For days now they had been avoiding each other, as childish as it sounded. Zero did not know how to resolve the situation. This should be his cue to leave. The reason why he hadn't already was beyond him. His best guess was that there was a strong side of him that felt the need to still protect Yuki. Even if it was senseless because she didn't want protection.

Zero glared angrily at the trees and their dark shadows.

"_Why can't I just make a decision and stick to it?!" _he silently yelled at himself.

His head whipped around at the sound of a distinct rustling.

"Zero!"

He sighed as Yuki swung down from a thick oak branch.

"Stop doing that, you'll cut yourself again," he muttered, starting to make his way down the pathway towards the Moon dormitory.

"Wait!"

Yuki's small hand wound around his wrist.

With a tightening in his chest, Zero stopped short. He had to say good-bye now. Say it and then bolt for the stables where he hid that bag of clothes set especially aside for the day when he'd have the guts to run away.

"You're not leaving, are you?" Yuki's desperate tone lowered to a hopeless whisper.

"I ought to," Zero replied monotonously.

Yuki wiped away a tear that he didn't see because he refused to stare at anything but the starry sky.

"I agree. You should go because I keep hurting you," Yuki swallowed a sob, "Hurting everyone. You, Kaname…"

Zero's eye twitched at the mentioning of the pureblood's name. So she felt guilty for accepting a kiss from him because she thought that she'd betrayed Kuran Kaname.

"I'm the one who's hurting you, Yuki," he uttered in a hardened voice.

Yuki tightened her hold on his hand.

"Don't say that. I don't find your behavior shameful, at all. I want you to stay for selfish reasons."

"Why?"

"We've always been together as partners, defending one another. I don't want that to end now…or ever."

Zero breathed in heavily.

"But you love Kuran Kaname. You know I harbor a vile hatred for him."

He waited for her rebuke to this statement. Instead he felt her arms wind around his waist. Shocked, he turned to glance over his shoulder. Yuki had her face pressed in between his shoulder blades.

"Kaname-senpai…wouldn't turn me into a vampire," Yuki murmured ever so slowly, "So don't worry about that ever happening-"

Zero unclasped Yuki's hands from around his waist and turned around. With one hand, he caressed Yuki's face like he'd done the night he kissed her.

"Upon my life, I won't let you become this thing."

Yuki was speechless to his strong words.

For a brief instant, she felt shivers creep up the nape of her neck. Much like when Zero's lips had touched her own..

But she fled from the thought.

Zero dropped his hand from her face.

"That's why I stay," he completed his explanation.

And Yuki did not push him. They both knew that whether or not it seemed logical, Zero's presence _was_ needed.

Their scent came up behind him. All his life he'd been so attuned to that smell. The scent of that entire race. It was humiliating to realize that _he _smelled like that.

Aidou stalked past him without as much as a glance. But Kuran Kaname paused to greet him.

"_Kon ban wa, _Zero-_kun," _he said in that sugary smooth voice of his, "I trust you're keeping Yuki safe for me?"

Zero hadn't planned on answering but at this despicable comment, he twisted his frame around to glare at the amber-eyed pureblood. Kaname stared back with such a composure that irritated Zero even more. So overly confident….as if he thought he had him imprisoned in the palm of his hand.

"I'm keeping her safe _from _you," Zero responded through his teeth.

Aidou halted mid stride.

"Is Yuki still having nightmares?" Kaname ignored Zero's lack of decorum.

Aidou, however, turned to glare openly at him, hands clenched into fists as he struggled to bite back the string of words that he was dying to unleash upon that imbecile.

Zero's face got colder.

"That's none of your concern. You're not the one who's there to comfort her at night."

Aidou thought it incredible how the fact that although Kaname's face began to show anger, Zero didn't even flinch.

"Just who do you think you are?" Aidou took a step towards Zero, now beyond insulted.

Kaname restrained him. But Zero did not even glance at the hot-tempered Aidou. His stare was still boring down on the object of his hate. The others he could eliminate with just one blow. This creature known as Kuran Kaname was far more cunning.

"Go back to class, Aidou," Kaname ordered his friend.

With a last glare over his shoulder, Aidou strolled away.

Zero could feel the muscles in his neck tighten as Kaname leaned closer. In one instant he knew just what the pureblood was thinking. Kaname was well aware that whatever he did would make him snap. That infuriated him! How Kaname had him so tied up. How badly he wanted to snap that jerk's neck!

"What happens to Yuki, no matter how insignificant, is my business," Kaname whispered in his ear, "You have a job to do. And that is protecting her so that when she's ready, I'll take your place."

Zero's eyes narrowed.

"Are you stupid enough to believe that I'll let you turn her into anything resembling you even a little bit ?" he snapped, feeling the blood boiling hot in his head.

All traces of anger faded from Kaname's face. Suddenly, he adopted that composed expression once more. But he still did not back away from Zero. Casually, he placed his hand on his shoulder.

"You seem to forget that no matter how many times you bite Yuki, you will never be satisfied. Do you know why that is?" he whispered.

Now Zero's hands began to shake.

Kaname continued nonetheless.

"It's because she's rightfully mine."

In one swift motion, Zero hit his arm against Kaname's chest, pushing him away. Kaname stumbled a step or two back. His amber eyes were as indifferent as ever. But Zero thought that he had incinerated a spark somewhere in their depths.

"Have a nice night, Zero-_kun_."

He stood perfectly frozen in shock, watching as her form sped away through the trees. She was a swift runner. Still, Kaname didn't understand why she ran.

It was because there was no nightmare. The images were so damn real. Cold sweat accumulated in the palm of her hands. Through one eye she could see Zero's back heaving as he breathed heavily while struggling for self control. Through the other, she saw a mirror image of her own eyes.

Amber brown.

Kaname's eyes.


End file.
